Soooooo….

I had to completely force myself to sit down and teach this morning. The motivation has been zero lately, making it pretty tough to find the energy to just start. But as it usually goes with this stuff, passing down the protocols actually ended up clearing some of my own head noise. The discussion helped a bit, pulling me out of my funk and forcing me to ground myself right along with my student.

Honestly, when I sat down to write this, I felt so completely lifeless that I wasn’t even sure I had the finger strength to type. Yet, look at how many words I’ve managed to put down below. Apparently, my lack of motivation has a massive budget for essays, and my burnout loves nothing more than a solid, wordy monologue. I guess the spirits didn’t get the memo that I was supposed to be on strike. 😏

Anyhow, my student is an anesthesiologist—someone who literally manipulates consciousness and the human nervous system for a living in their day job, but is super into the mechanics of esotericism. It makes for an awesome dynamic. When you’re working with someone who understands physical biology so well, you can skip the vague, fluffy stuff and get straight to the real anatomy of the craft.

We were diving into the basics of centering, specifically working through the protocols of internal work, focusing on drawing the scattered astral self back home into the physical body to override that automatic, chest-driven “fight-or-flight” anxiety. It’s basically an exercise in deliberate internal control:

* Clear the Void: Forcefully exhaling and squeezing the belly button back toward the spine to push out physical and energetic stagnation.

* Create the Vacuum: Inhaling deeply through the nose, dropping the air straight past a totally relaxed chest and letting the lower belly expand like a balloon.

* The Magnetic Pull: Using that lower expansion to act as an internal vacuum—like a magnet pulling scattered energy down from the head and locking it directly into the belly core to hit a state of “relaxed alertness.”

There’s a cool parallel in teaching an anesthesiologist how to shift biology. They spend their days using meds to alter a patient’s state, but here, we are using pure visualization, breath, and intent to lock the awareness to a centralized point—visualizing a dense “golden ball” just below the navel to seal things up.

Pushing through my own exhaustion to teach these steps was a solid reality check. I can’t exactly talk about anchoring yourself if I’m letting my own mind drift around because of work burnout. By the time the call ended, helping them find their center forced me to find a piece of my own again.

I ended up snapping a quick picture of my computer screen during the call just to capture the raw moment—proof to look back on when I need to remind myself that the work continues, even on the days I feel running on empty. I would like to tuck it safely away under a trigger or spoiler tag because I didn’t get a chance to blur my student’s face, but I’m unsure if such options exist here or which button to click in the new message panel. So, I just posted it as is. 😅 We’re unrecognizable in the frame anyway, so privacy isn’t compromised. If you zoom in on the image, you’ll see the custom lesson layout I put together specifically for this solo class and workshop.

The flame is stubborn, but it’s still catching.